bambooflute (bambooflute) wrote in ask_a_cop,

What do cops think of families of the perps?

Wondering what the cops' angles are on human nature.

Yeah, odd as it is, Lindsay Lohan made me think. She was arrested last night in NYC at a nightclub for punching another clubgoer in the face. FWIW I still consider her to be a drug addict and a particularly unrepentant addict and criminal in light of recent events for me.

Now, I'm wondering about what you folks think about perps and their families. I am not referring to families who try to hide the perps, or families who are criminals themselves. I am talking about the families who don't support their perp relatives in their criminal behavior, but don't know what to do about them, or simply cannot curtail those bad apple relatives.

This is something I never thought I would be wondering about from a personal standpoint. In short, I am a family friend of a drug addict who has been in trouble with the law throughout his life, all misdemeanors until now. Several months ago I became involved with supporting his mother in obtaining information, visits, etc. when he was re-arrested early this year for his first felony. Mostly I have been helping his mother (who has health issues and a lot of personal problems and limitations at this point) deal with the public defenders office, social workers, and the correctional facility (the jail). I have been doing and learning about a ton of crap I never even thought about a year ago.

He just violated his parole/probation (I still don't understand this stuff) and has an arrest warrant out for him now. His mother is upset, but this time gives up on him and wants him to serve his sentence. His mother has had lots of experience with the criminal justice unfortunately and this is not the first family member in trouble with the law. She may be jaded, but she said that for now, she will not support this son emotionally or otherwise because of the most recent violations. Perhaps this is strange, but I have been more upset and disappointed about this than she has been showing, but his mother was less optimistic than I was. I admit I am naive about all of this stuff (criminal activities and drug addiction), but I believed he would stay both sober and out of trouble. Neither of us are happy about it, but there is nothing else we can do for him and he was informed in every way possible, repeatedly, by all of us working to give him a second chance. When - if - he shows up somewhere alive (not dead from an overdose, in the hospital, other), we will call the cops ourselves if the cops don't find him first.

With my limited experience of this year, I started wondering: what do you cops feel/think about the people you handle every single day? I'm curious about how you've changed about dealing with people. Obviously not just the crime victims, their families, but the perps. Additionally now - obviously now - what you think of the families (including close friends) of the perps.

Lately I've been demoralized and I think that chronic recidivists (like this drug addict) who can't - or won't - stop, are broken down to three categories: crazy, stupid, or evil. Usually elements of all three to some extent. Just wondering. Personally I am just trying not to become a complete cynic and give up on believing on people
Also I have grown a new appreciation for the emotional and mental crap that cops go through dealing with the worst part of people - and people's experiences - every single day.

So if you're inclined, just wonder what you think about the people you deal with in general, good, bad, or ugly. And additional points for how you deal with perps and their families.

(Edited for clarity and a ton of typos. I'm sure I still missed some, sorry.)
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